A guy calls an unknown number..
Guy: Fridge hai?
Reply: Haan hai.
Guy: Chalta hai?
Reply: Haan chalta hai..
Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy: Fridge hai?
This time the person’s really angry.
Reply: Nahi hai.
Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..
*****
Pehle wo meri GF thi
Me bolta tha wo suni thi
phir wo meri mangetar bani,
Wo bolti thi main sunta tha
jab wo meri BIWI bani
Hum dono bolte he Mohalla sunta hai.
*****
Ek baar ek ladka rastey mein chalte chalte ek gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Tabhi ek ladki ne use chhedte hue kaha, “Apne bade bhai ka aashirwaad le rahe ho kya?”
Ladke ne palat kar jawab diya, “Sahi farmaya bhabhi ji.”
*****
A Husband makes a call 2 his wife from his idea phone.
He dials wrong number.
Another woman picks it.
Both talked for long time and fell in love.
Moral of the story: An idea can change your wife.
*****
Girlfriend: Janu tum din me kitni bar shave karte ho?
Boyfriend: mai to din me 20-30 bar shave karta hu.
Girlfriend: Pagal ho kya?
Boyfriend: mai to barber(nai) hu.
Art ka period start hua.
Teacher:Ek painting banao jisme Ek bus ho aur passengers ho jo usme chad rahe ho
Sabhi students ki copy teacher dekh rahi thi.
Tabhi teacher ek student ke pas pahuchi usne kuch bhi nahi banaya tha.
Teacher:Iske sare passenger kaha gaye
Student:Sare bus me chad gaye
Teacher:To bus kaha gayi
Student:Bus chali gayi.
*****
Pappu: Mujhe apki beti se shadi karni hai
Father:Tumhari salary meri beti ke liye toilet paper bhi afford nahi kar sakti
Pappu:Agar itni potty karti hai to rahne do
This joke has two actors: Son And Dad
Beta: Papa main itna bada kab honga ki mom se bina poochey ghar ke bahar ja sakoo
Papa : Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
*****
Ladkiwale – Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho….aur sirf Boiled Khana khae….. Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le……
Pandit – Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega….
*****
Dukandar- bolo Sahab, kya Chaahiye ?
Aadmi : hone wali Biwi ke Kutte ke liye Cake lene aaya hoon..
milega kya ??
Dukandar : haan.. per yahi Khaaoge ya Pack Kar doon ???
*****
Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.
Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.
Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”
Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
*****
Best pick up line to approach a Girl:
Boy: Is your Dad Terrorist?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Girl: What?
Boy: No! I asked
because you r such a
Bomb!
*****
4 boys on were bike
Police: Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 log ek hi bike par baithe ho.. ??
.
Boys shocked…
.
.
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
.
.
.
and says: Saalo 5wa kaha gir
gaya.. ??
Jise party deni thi..
*****
A junior in an office dialed his boss number by mistake & said : Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes!
Boss shouted : Do you know whom you’re talking to ?!
Junior: no!
Boss: I’m the boss of this office.
Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you’re talking to?
Boss: No!
Junior: Thank God. (and disconnected the phone)
*****
Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai:
Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..?
.
.
.
Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai
to ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga..
uss mein dekh le,
humse kya poochhti hai ‘Bhootni’ kahi ki…
*****
In a school function
A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hnds,
When girl was about to start her speech …
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?
He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend
n She is gonna start her speech with
.
.
.
.
.
My Dear
Brothers n Sisters ..
In this post i will post some of best quotes.
1)With Great Power Comes Great
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Electricity Bill.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
2)In all my life i thought that air was free…………….
until i bought a bag of chips.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
3)Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
4)Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is complete idiot.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
5)Mai un 4 logo ko badi muddat se search kar raha hu.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jinke bare me hamesha ghar wale bolte hai ki 4 log dekhenge to kya kahenge
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
6)Hey i’ll be back in 5 minutes.But if i am not
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then just read this message again.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
7)Avoid Popularity If You Want Peace
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
8)If you fall in river,there is a boat….
If you fall in well, there is a rope….
But if you fall in love,there is no hope
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
9)Boy:I want to share everything with you
Girl:Let’s start from your bank account.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
Naukrani chillate hue malkin ke pas ayi aur usne malkin se kaha
memsahab – memsahab gajab ho gaya,
pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
After 1 hour
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
After 3 hour
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
Girlfriend(gusse me): Janu tum din me kitni bar shave karte ho?
Boyfriend: mai to din me 20-30 bar shave karta hu.
Girlfriend: Pagal ho kya?
Boyfriend: mai to barber(nai) hu.
Guy: Fridge hai?
Reply: Haan hai.
Guy: Chalta hai?
Reply: Haan chalta hai..
Guy: Toh pakad ke rakhna, warna bhaag jaayega..
And he hangs up.. After a while, he calls up again..
Guy: Fridge hai?
This time the person’s really angry.
Reply: Nahi hai.
Guy: Kahaan se hoga.. Bola tha na pakad ke rakhna varna bhaag jaayega..
*****
Pehle wo meri GF thi
Me bolta tha wo suni thi
phir wo meri mangetar bani,
Wo bolti thi main sunta tha
jab wo meri BIWI bani
Hum dono bolte he Mohalla sunta hai.
*****
Ek baar ek ladka rastey mein chalte chalte ek gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Tabhi ek ladki ne use chhedte hue kaha, “Apne bade bhai ka aashirwaad le rahe ho kya?”
Ladke ne palat kar jawab diya, “Sahi farmaya bhabhi ji.”
*****
A Husband makes a call 2 his wife from his idea phone.
He dials wrong number.
Another woman picks it.
Both talked for long time and fell in love.
Moral of the story: An idea can change your wife.
*****
Girlfriend: Janu tum din me kitni bar shave karte ho?
Boyfriend: mai to din me 20-30 bar shave karta hu.
Girlfriend: Pagal ho kya?
Boyfriend: mai to barber(nai) hu.
Art ka period start hua.
Teacher:Ek painting banao jisme Ek bus ho aur passengers ho jo usme chad rahe ho
Sabhi students ki copy teacher dekh rahi thi.
Tabhi teacher ek student ke pas pahuchi usne kuch bhi nahi banaya tha.
Teacher:Iske sare passenger kaha gaye
Student:Sare bus me chad gaye
Teacher:To bus kaha gayi
Student:Bus chali gayi.
*****
Pappu: Mujhe apki beti se shadi karni hai
Father:Tumhari salary meri beti ke liye toilet paper bhi afford nahi kar sakti
Pappu:Agar itni potty karti hai to rahne do
This joke has two actors: Son And Dad
Beta: Papa main itna bada kab honga ki mom se bina poochey ghar ke bahar ja sakoo
Papa : Beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
*****
Ladkiwale – Hame aisa Ladka chahiye jo Paan, Cigrette, Daru na leta ho….aur sirf Boiled Khana khae….. Din Raat Bhagwan ka Naam le……
Pandit – Aisa ladka to apko wo samane wale Leelavati Hospital ke ICU mein hee milega….
*****
Dukandar- bolo Sahab, kya Chaahiye ?
Aadmi : hone wali Biwi ke Kutte ke liye Cake lene aaya hoon..
milega kya ??
Dukandar : haan.. per yahi Khaaoge ya Pack Kar doon ???
*****
Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.
Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.
Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”
Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
*****
Best pick up line to approach a Girl:
Boy: Is your Dad Terrorist?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Girl: What?
Boy: No! I asked
because you r such a
Bomb!
*****
4 boys on were bike
Police: Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 log ek hi bike par baithe ho.. ??
.
Boys shocked…
.
.
.
.
.
look behind..
.
.
.
.
.
and says: Saalo 5wa kaha gir
gaya.. ??
Jise party deni thi..
*****
A junior in an office dialed his boss number by mistake & said : Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes!
Boss shouted : Do you know whom you’re talking to ?!
Junior: no!
Boss: I’m the boss of this office.
Junior (in the same tone) : & do u know whom you’re talking to?
Boss: No!
Junior: Thank God. (and disconnected the phone)
*****
Ladki pic upload karke likhti hai:
Hi friendzz kesi lag rahi hoon..?
.
.
.
Boy: tere baap ne 15-20 hazaar ka mobile leke diya hai
to ghar me 500rs. ka sheesha bhi lagaya hoga..
uss mein dekh le,
humse kya poochhti hai ‘Bhootni’ kahi ki…
*****
In a school function
A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hnds,
When girl was about to start her speech …
Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?
He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend
n She is gonna start her speech with
.
.
.
.
.
My Dear
Brothers n Sisters ..
In this post i will post some of best quotes.
1)With Great Power Comes Great
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Electricity Bill.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
2)In all my life i thought that air was free…………….
until i bought a bag of chips.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
3)Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
4)Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is complete idiot.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
5)Mai un 4 logo ko badi muddat se search kar raha hu.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jinke bare me hamesha ghar wale bolte hai ki 4 log dekhenge to kya kahenge
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
6)Hey i’ll be back in 5 minutes.But if i am not
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then just read this message again.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
7)Avoid Popularity If You Want Peace
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
8)If you fall in river,there is a boat….
If you fall in well, there is a rope….
But if you fall in love,there is no hope
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
9)Boy:I want to share everything with you
Girl:Let’s start from your bank account.
###########################*************************#############################
###########################*************************#############################
Naukrani chillate hue malkin ke pas ayi aur usne malkin se kaha
memsahab – memsahab gajab ho gaya,
pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
After 1 hour
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
After 3 hour
Girlfriend:Janu kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend:Kuch nahi bus shaving kar raha hu.
Girlfriend(gusse me): Janu tum din me kitni bar shave karte ho?
Boyfriend: mai to din me 20-30 bar shave karta hu.
Girlfriend: Pagal ho kya?
Boyfriend: mai to barber(nai) hu.
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