Collection of best comedy jokes

Leave applications.Must read

(murdering english language)

Infosys, Bangalore:
“Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife ,
please sanction me one-week leave.”
________________________________
Oracle, Bangalore:
From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10 year old son:
“As I want to shave my son’;s head , please leave me for two days..”
________________________________
Leave-letter from a CDAC employee who was
performing his daughter’;s wedding:
“As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’;s leave..”
________________________________
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
“As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it please    me 10 days leave.”
________________________________
Another employee applied for half-day leave as follows:
“Since I’;ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o’;clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”
________________________________
A leave letter:
“I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday.”
________________________________
A leave letter to a headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today”
________________________________
Another letter written to a headmaster:
“As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.”
________________________________
Covering note:
“I am enclosed herewith…”
________________________________
Another one:
“Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my bottom…”
________________________________
Actual application for leave:
“My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”.
________________________________
Letter writing:
“I am well here and hope you are also in the same well.”

1) Na jaan Na pehchaan,
Tu mera mehmaan,
And the award goes to A.R.Rehman
..

2) Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,
Diagram galat ho gaya, Rubber de Rubber
..

3) Teri adao pe mein waari waari,
Dial 139 for railway enquiry…

4) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf,
The number you are trying is currently switched off
..

5) Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo,
Naya godrej powder hair dye,
Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo..

6) Yuh khamosh reh kar tadpogi kabtak,
Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK
..

7) Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,
Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,
Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu…


8) Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,
LIFEBUOY hai jahan Tandurusti hai wahan…

9) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,
BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna
….

10) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,
Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala
..!!

11) Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,
Asali Masale Sach Sach
MDH…..MDH …!!


12) Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,
Didi Tera Devar Deewana..

13) Naach Bulbul Naach, tujhe paisa milega
Hum CID se hai, Koi apne jagah se nahi hilega…!!



A man was watching a DVD at home.. and jor jor se cheekhne laga …..

Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Ghode par se mat utar.. Pagal mat utar..

Its a trap!!  Its a trap!!

Marega  saale..

Wife: Kya dekh rahe ho?

Man: Our wedding DVD!!